Alexander | Teaser

His name is Alexander without “the Great”

But to be more than the King, he drew our fate

He never conquered Greece and Persia

But he founded my heart, like it’s Alexandria

Keep on reading fellas. More poems to come.

1. Alexander

2. Squid and the Frog

3. I thirst

May GOD bless us all. All GLORY belongs to HIM

Dear John III

I am waiting for tomorrow but the night seems so long

I’m still living with a lie that nothing went wrong

Our love is so wonderful but he left me alone

But still I am waiting for my John to come home

I woke up this morning and he’s not with me

Then I saw how painful reality could be

To my dear John, I hope you still care

Destiny and love are just being unfair

I am a flower that will never bloom

And a dark cold night without a moon

If in his heart I don’t have a room

My dear John, I’ll get over you soon

Tell me the words I want to hear

Tell me you love me and you still want me near

To my dear John, I won’t say goodbye

My heart will wait and love you until the day I die

Written: October 2012

MLMP

Superman

Like a withered, leafless and unfruitful tree

My heart is decayed by the absence of thee

With life so hopeless and no hero to see

Would you be the Superman who would set me free

Beneath my lonely and lifeless sky

Beyond the embroidered stars and moon

All my hopes and dreams do tell me

That a manful Superman would love me soon

And when our worlds are about to meet

Just follow my voice and never retreat

Hold my hand and I’ll step on your feet

Let’s fly and dance in silence while our hearts sincerely speak

With your arms of strength, hug me once more

Let me look at your eyes that I will always adore

Caress my lips with the warmth of your kiss

And tonight let’s fall in true love’s bliss

I am no kryptonite so don’t be afraid

We’ll face this strife where our love was made

Be my Superman and with love so strong

I’ll be your Lois Lane who will sing you heart’s song

The sun woke me up with a million light

And realized that everything is still not real

As I sigh with the sadness I feel in my heart

I smiled after dreaming of my man of steel

Like the patient blooming of all dawn flowers

In this valley of hopes I wait for him

In this moonlit night where the stars are singing

Be my Superman and fulfill my dream

Music Player

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Grade 2 ako. Brown out. Nakatingin ako sa nag-iisang kandila na nakasindi sa lamesa ng kusina namin. Hanggang sa narinig kong kumanta si mama. “The sun will come out tomorrow..”

My mother has a good voice. Alam ko yun dahil naririnig ko siya araw araw na kumakanta. At sa tuwing may videoke sa bahay, 100 ang score niya sa kantang Top of the World. Nainlove ako sa narinig kong kinanta niya. Ginaya ko “The sun will come out tomorrow”

Mama: So you gotta hang on till tomorrow

Ako: So you gotta hang on till tomorrow

Mama: Come what may..

Ako: Come what may

Matagal akong tinitigan ni mama. Hanggang sa sinabi niya sa’kin na maganda ang boses ko. At ako dahil bata pa ako nun, I just smiled. May talent ako, naks. Simula nung gabing yun. Para akong produkto sa pamilihan. Kung kani-kanino niya inendorse ang boses ko. Sa mga teachers, advisers ng klase. Kaya ako na walang kamuwang muwang sa mundo, kapag sinabihan na nila ako na kumanta. Kakanta ako. First Intermission Number ko sa School namin. Buwan ng Wika. Ang kinanta ko? Yung kay Carol Banawa: Iingatan Ka. Habang kumakanta ako sa stage, nagsisigawan mga estudyante. Pinapalakpakan ako. At dahil dun? NAKALIMUTAN KO LYRICS NUNG KANTA. Nakakainis. Tumingin ako sa mama ko na nakabantay sa akin sa right side ng stage, pumapalakpak siya. Kumakanta. Sinasabayan niya yung maling lyrics ko. Lumuluha. Nung oras nay un, sabi ko sa isip ko, “Si mama malungkot” dahil nga bata ako. Pero alam ko. Ramdam ko. Na sa oras ding yun, Proud siya sakin.

Matapos nun, sunud-sunod na mga nagiging projects ko. Pumirma ako ng kontrata sa Star Records, Nakaduet ko si Michael Jackson sa kantang Thriller. Pero biro lang yun. Naging sunud sunod pa mga pagkanta ko. Sa loob o labas man ng school. Contest man o Number lang, Maye Leane ang alam nilang pangalan. Naalala ko pa, dahil sa boses ko, nakaduet ko yung childhood crush ko: Jon Elson Paragas. BROKEN VOW. Grade 3 kami. Naging buhay ko ang musika. Ang boses ko. Naging parte siya ng mga rason kung bakit ako nabubuhay. Pero tinigil ko.

Bakit ako tumigil sa pagkanta?

I SING. And I believe in my voice. Ikumpara mo ako sa magagaling na singers dyan, siguro nga I would appear so little. But my voice is strong. Dito nanggaling yung emotions ko. I sing when I am happy. I sing whenever I’m sad. I sing when my heart feels the hunger for music. I sing when my soul feels the thirst for rythm. But I have one problem. I only sing to myself. NOW. Wala akong lakas ng loob na ilabas mga emotions ko. Kakanta ako sa kwarto. Mag-isa. Sa banyo. Mag-isa. Kung meron mang nakarinig ng boses ko sa tuwing kakanta ako, it’s my Family. Kakanta ako, then they would say “Maye, you really have a good voice” I will answer, “Hindi. Hindi maganda boses ko”. Then they would ask me why. Hindi na ako sasagot.

“Ayokong marinig ng iba ang kalungkutan ko. Gusto kong marinig nila kaligayahan ko, pero di rin naman nila maaappreciate”

I dunno. Bigla akong nagdrama about my singing. Kasi ganito story nyan:

Kumakanta ako sa bus nun habang papasok ng school. Tapos yung matandang babae na katabi ko sabi niya “Iha, ang ganda naman ng boses mo”

Nahiya ako. Sabi ko “Salamat po” Sumagot yung bata na kandong niya “Umiiyak ka ate”

Nung mga oras na yun kase, malungkot ako. Wala naman akong problema pero, naramdaman kong unti unting hinihila nung boses ko yung luha ko pababa. “TUMULO KA.TUMULO KAAA” Ganyan na ganyan yung naririnig ko mula sa sarili kong lalamunan. Going back, sabi sakin nung matanda “Ganyan talaga buhay. Sakyan mo na lang” Kahit wala akong problema nung mga oras na yun, tinamaan pa rin ako sa sinabi niya. “Ikanta mo lang, nakikinig ako” Sabi ni ale. Dalawa ang nakita ko sa sinabi niya

  • Ikanta mo lang, nakikinig ako. As in, “Sige lang kanta ka na. Maganda boses mo. Naaappreciate ko. Hindi tulad ng ibang tao dyan na binababa ka”
  • Ikanta mo lang, nakikinig ako. I heard God sa words niya. Parang “Ituloy mo lang yan.Yan ang buhay mo, nilaan ko yan para sa’yo. Wag kang mag-alala. Andito lang ako”

Doon ko naramdaman na hindi pala talaga madaya ang mundo. Doon ko nakita yung magaganda at sagradong bagay na nakapaligid sa akin, hindi ko lang nakikita dahil masyado akong binulag ng takot. Ng sarili kong kahinaan. Walang iiyak kung walang mananakit. Walang mag-iisa kung walang mang-iiwan. Walang masasaktan kung lahat ng tao nagmamahalan. Bakit ka magagalit sa kaibigan mo kapag may mali siyang nagawa? Pwede bang pakinggan mo muna kung ano nararamdaman at hinanakit niya bago niyo itapon yung pinagsamahan niyo? Bakit may mga teenagers na nalululong sa masasamang bisyo, nabubuntis at nawawala sa tamang landas? Inisip niyo na ba na sa libo libong bata na hindi kumakain sa buong mundo, andyan ka, kumakain, nag-aaral at sinusubo pa ng magulang mo yung dapat sana’y kakainin nila para lang di ka magutom. Bakit may mga mag-asawang naghihiwalay at naglolokohan? Inisip niyo na ba yung mga mag-asawa na mas malalaki ang problema kaysa sa dinadala niyo? Inisip niyo na ba yung mga taong maaapektuhan? Bakit may mga nandadaya,nagsisinungaling at nanloloko? Inisip niyo na ba na maraming tao ang binibigyan ka ng malaking tiwala, tapos ikaw sisirain mo lang? Bakit may mga nagsusuicide? Inisip niyo na ba na sa bawat dugong tumutulo mula sa nilaslas niyong pulso, dahil iniwan kayo ng walang kwenta mong syota, ay maraming pasyente na lumalaban madugtungan lang ang buhay nila? Ako ang naiinis. Hindi madaya ang mundo, pero tao mismo ang nanloloko. Habang umiikot ang mundo, may mga tao rin na pinapaikot yung ibang tao. Kung walang magbabago ngayon, kailan pa? Kung hindi mababago to dito ngayon, saan pa? At kung ayaw mong magbago, matatawag mo pa ba ang sarili mo na “TAO”?

I sing. Not to impress. But to express. Ako si Maye Leane Paras. Halos 17  taong gulang. Accountancy student. 2nd year. Di ako artista. Di ako sikat. At hindi malaki ang pangalan ko. Ordinaryo akong tao, pero kaya kong magbago.

Kinuha ko headset ko. Pumunta sa Music Player. Nakinig. Kumanta. Tinapik nung ale sa bus yung balikat ko “Ingat ka”. “Kayo din po” sagot ko.

If I die young

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  • White coffin. White flowers. White curtain.
  • White dress. As much as possible yung covered ako. Ayokong nakikita niyo yung legs ko. Gusto komay sleeve, pero dapat sexy pa rin tignan.
  • Ayoko ng makapal na make up. Ayoko ng red na lipstick. Magmumukha akong prosti. PINK. Glossy pink ang gusto kong lip color. No eyeshadow. Simple lang.
  • Please let me wear a glove. Tulad ng sabi ko, I want myself covered.
  • Alam ko essential ang lugay na buhok, pero may bangs ako. Alam ko na may bangs ako when i die kasi I always cut it pag humahaba na. Gawan niyo ng paraan yun para di matakpan mukha ko 
  • Iwan niyo lahat ng damit ko. Pero isama niyo sa akin yung favorite kong checkered na damit pantulog.
  • I want everybody to make mypicture as their Facebook DP. Kahit one day lang
  • Wear white. Pure white.
  • Gusto ko kakanta kayo sabay sabay ng Vanilla Twilight ng Owl City. Gusto kong maappreciate niyo yung kantang paborito ko. And please, bigyan niyo ng emphasis yung lyrics na “when violet eyes get brighter and heavy wings grow lighter, I’ll taste the sky and feel alive again. And I’ll forget the world that I knew but I swear I won’t forget you. Oh if my voicecould reach back through the past I’d whisper in your ear. Oh, Maye Leane, I wish you were here”
  • Yung digicam ko, ingatan niyo. Gift saaken yan ni mama. Please lang.
  • Yung hearse ko, open dapat. Ang cute kase pag open
  • Kailangan akong palitan ng COF ko.
  • I want to see the two persons who gave me the biggest realization about love
  • Alalayan niyo si Naz. Macho yan pero mahina yan.
  • On the 3rd day of my death, magmumulto ako. Promise :)
  • Bigyan niyo ako ng Trolli sour Worms
  • At doublemint na rin. Salamat
  • Sa eulogy ko, yung strong people lang ang magsasalita. Ayoko ng may mahihimatay!
  • Dapat may assist din ako ng SGU! haha :D
  • Kung sakalaing may aso ako when I die, pakialagaan ha? :(
  • Magluto kayo ng Kare-kare
  • Yung cellphone ko, kay mama niyo ibigay
  • Itong blog ko, ipaabot niyo naman ng 1000 visitors oh? :D
  • Susubukan kong sumanib kay Girl Crush
  • Timplahan niyo ako ng kape palagi
  • Be happy for me. No tears allowed Ü
~If I die Young ♥

Things I want sa loob ng 100 years

  1. Gumawa ng libro at maipublish yun sa 20th birthday ko. 
  2. A memorable kiss with someone I love under the rain
  3. WEDDING. Gusto ko talagang maikasal. Magkaroon ng sariling pamilya. At the right time. Right age. and with the right man  ♥
  4. Makapagtapos ng medicine kahit Premed lang. Uhaw ako sa science. Uhaw ako sa pagiging doktor. Kahit accountancy student ako, nasa isip ko ang debits and credits pero nasa puso ko ang anatomy at physiology.
  5. A Romantic dinner by candlelight, followed by a walk under the stars
  6. 1000 pairs of stilleto
  7. Helena’s Promise: Makaduet ang taong mahal ko
  8. Makapagpatayo ng foundation at bahay ampunan/Home for the aged. at kung hindi ko man magawa yan, sana kahit makatulong man lang ako.
  9. Makapagpapicture kasama si Adam Young. 
  10. Makakanta sa simbahan. Yung solo. Wala sa mukha ko, pero passion ko ang pagkanta. Utang na loob. Singer ako :)
  11. O sige. tataasan ko na. Gusto kong maging isang sikat na singer :3
  12. At gagawa ako ng cover ng mga kanta ng Owl City
  13. Makapagtravel sa buong mundo kasama ang pamilya ko at syempre ang asawa at mga anak ko :”>
  14. Makikipagshake hands ako kay Girl Crush.
  15. At kung may pagkakataon, kukunin ko siyang general manager ng sarili kong kumpanya
  16. OO. Gusto ko rin ng sariling kumpanya
  17. Isa akong frustrated na photographer. Pero gusto ko rin maging professional sa field na yan
  18. GUSTO KONG MAGING CPA LAWYER AT DOKTOR. oo. sabay sabay :)
  19. Sa 50th birthday ko, imbitado lahat ng artista
  20. After 100 years, mumultuhin ko ang mga taong di naniniwalang magagawa ko lahat yan :)

If I were Cinderella

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Our story is a different kind of romance

It’s a peaceful melody with a blissful dance

If I were Cinderella, then would you be my prince

Be with me forever and let’s fulfill our dreams

Let’s dance to the melody our hearts have made

Feel my love for you that would never fade

If I were Cinderella I won’t leave you after midnight

I’d stay in love with you under a bright silver moonlight

I know you hear me, look at me and understand

This may seem strange, but please hold on and take my hand

I saw your eyes and it gave my heart a glow

That few have seen and only you will know

If I were Cinderella, I would leave my glass slipper

So you would find me and I’ll be with you forever

To my prince charming, just let me be your princess

Let me love you forever and be my only happiness 

Our story is a fairytale that needs to be told

I fell in love with you and my life started to unfold

A dream is a wish my heart would make for you

I love you, my prince. You are my dream come true 


~Maye Leane Paras

The Past

I remembered those days when we were happy
and the times when you loved me faithfully
but where are they, what happened to me
I’m left with the decision of setting you free

I live my life with a broken heart
where every cry is the painful part
your voice, your touch, your hug and kiss
is what I look for and truly miss

I tried to pretend that everything’s okay
even tried to forget you and to stay away
but my heart keeps telling me only to stay
though how painful it is to love you everyday

If fate and love is really fair and just
then let me know if this love won’t last
so I could just move on and forget the past
because this world is never meant for us

~a poem for every broken hearted lovers ♥ 


Dear Future Self

 Una, gusto kong magsorry kasi di ko naipagpatuloy yung pinapangarap mong medical technology :( pero sana, maging doctor ka pa rin. Diba yun ang gusto natin? Aksidente naman kasi na naenrol ako sa school of accountancy. sorry ha? :) How are you anyway? Siguro successful accountant ka na dyan. Kitams, hanggang ngayon pinanghahawakan mo pa rin yung motto natin

“EVERYTHING IS A PART OF GOD’S WILL”

Isipin mo na lang, di ka ganyan kagaling ngayon kung hindi nangyari yung aksidenteng pagkakaenroll mo sa accounting :) nabigyan mo na ba ng kotse si papa? si mama napauwi mo na ba? nabigyan mo na ba sila ng malaking bahay? kamusta na si ate mara? siguro flight attendant na yun ngayon noh. si myke? haay. i know, seaman na siya. Ui, galingan mo lang. Sana di ka na malungkot ngayon. Naaalala mo nung 16 years old ka pa lang? Diba gabi gabi kang umiiyak kasi iniisip mo na mag isa ka lang. Feeling mo wala kang kasama. Feeling mo palagi nababalewala ka. Sana masaya ka na ngayon. Sana natupad na lahat ng pangarap mo. Okay lang ako dito sa kasalukuyan, nakakatawa pa naman ako :) Gustung gusto ko na may napapangiti akong tao. Gustung gusto ko na may napapasaya ako. Sa dalawang rason.

  1. Masaya ako pag nakikita kong may napapasaya ako
  2. Naitatago ko yung lungkot na ayaw nating ipakita.

Sana hanggang sa hinaharap ganun ka pa rin. Pero ayoko na nung pangalawang rason natin.Gusto ko yung una lang. Wag na wag kang magbabago. Panatilihin mo yung tama, yung mali lang baguhin mo. Kung may mistakes ka, wag mo na damdamin, lesson na dapat yun sa’yo. Be strong lang maye, I can’t wait to see you. 10 years from now, gusto ko haharap ako sa salamin tapos  masasabi ko na nagtagumpay ako :) andrama noh? Pero alam kong naiintindihan mo ako. Kasi ganito ka din dati eh. Pero teka, maiba tayo, sana nakapagpatayo ka na nung pangarap mong bahay ampunan at home for the aged :( Anlungkot ng kasalukuyan maye, andaming pagala galang bata. andaming matatandang nagttrabaho lang sa kalye. Kinakawawa sila. Haay. Ako namatayan ng kapatid, kaya sabik ako sa bata eh. Ang aga kong nawalan ng lolo, kaya nalulungkot ako pag may nakikita akong lolo na mag isa. Ansaklap ng mundo. Madaya.Madamot. Kaya ikaw, dapat mabait ka :)

Anyway, are you married? engaged? Yung lalaking mahal mo ngayon, iniingatan ka ba niya dyan? :(  Wag ka na magpaloko :) Alam ko brave ka sa ganyang bagay. Magiging masaya ka. Tayo. Ako. Ingat ka. Magkikita din tayo.

Gumagalang,

Ako sa Kasalukuyan

Girl Crush

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Una, di ako tomboy. at pangalawa, crush lang kita. Di ako maiinlove sa’yo :) at correction, hindi crush, nagagandahan lang pala ako.

Well, meron akong 2 flashdrives. Yung isa, puro files ang laman, at yung isa puro pictures mo. Yung iba nadownload ko from facebook, yung iba naman stolen shots na nakukuha ko sa tuwing natitimingan mong hawak ko ang camera ko at dadaan ka. Hindi naman to insecurity eh, nagagandahan lang talaga ako. Kung insecurity to edi sana hinangad kong talbugan ang beauty mo, kaso hindi eh. Basta, ang ganda mo, ok? Sa araw araw ng buhay ko na nakakasalubong ako ng iba’t ibang magagandang mukha bukod sa nakikita ko sa salamin, mas maganda ka pa rin :D hindi ka droga na kinakaadikan ko, kasi di naman ako tooomboy ^^ you’re the apple of my eye. yun lang :D hanggang dun lang.  May boyfriend ako. at kahit wala, di kita liligawan. kasi uulitin ko, DI AKO TOMBOY. feeling ko alam mong crush kita, wag mo na lang ipagkalat :) nabasa mo to? wag ka na umimik. natamaan ka? imessage mo ako. makipagclose ka sakin :))  ingat ka.

Gumagalang,

mayang ♥

Fairytale Romance

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As a little girl, I grew up to the stories of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White and Beauty and the Beast. I based my dreams on these tales of love at first sight, being swept off my feet and falling for my Prince Charming on a white horse. I dreamed of my first kiss being the best moment of my life. I dreamed of being so beautiful that when my prince looked at me, he couldn’t look away. I dreamed of being saved. But as I grew up, destiny gave me something more romantic and wonderful than my vast imaginations about love. ♥ I didn’t met prince, I met a boy. We didn’t met each other in a beautiful castle, we met each other in a school where our deep friendship was developed. We didn’t fell in love with each other at first sight, we’ve faced a lot of  challenges before we realized that we are in love. Our first kiss was not the best moment of my life, it was the most memorable one ♥ 

We still have young minds when I first fell in love with you. We were best friends but our friendly love for each other grew even more romantic. Selfless. Unconditional. We were still happy during those times. But destiny has its own course. If our story was a fairy tale, the time I decided to leave you was the time when Snow White ate the apple with poison. It was the time when Cinderella has to hurry up and stop dancing with his Prince Charming because the clock will already strike at 12. It was the time when I accidentally fell in love with a dark knight. I left you because I chose to love a wrong man. I am sorry, I am downright wrong. During those times, a fairy godmother was supposed to come out and do something magical with her wand to give our story a happy ending. But I chose to be brave. I chose to fight for a forsaken love  in the middle of a hopeless battlefield. But it was not a fight with swords and armors. It was a fight for chances. I have forgotten all the reasons why my love for you before didn’t work. I gave my heart a second chance and believed in the one reason that would fix the broken pieces. It is never too late to realize what is important in your life and fight for it. And that’s what I did.


 This time I know I made a right decision. I had fought the battle, and I knew I won. Thank you, Nazarlie. What more can a woman say to the man who opened his heart to her, allowing her to feel the warmth of his love across the great distance that separates them? You truly have no idea what I feel for you.  As the days continue to pass, my love for you continues to grow. I never thought I had the capacity to love anybody as much as I love you right now. Yet, my love for you continues to mature, growing beyond the realm of my heart. It seems that you have become the fiber of my soul, the very reason for my existence. I love you and that’s what I know. The song we wrote, is now a perfect melody. The story we have written is more than just a fairy tale. This is it baby. We’ve made a perfect Fairytale Romance.  I promise I won’t let you go again . I love you, and I always will ♥

Kung Lalaki Man Ako

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Kapag naging lalaki ako ng isang buong araw, ito ang mga gagawin ko:

1. Bubugbugin ko ang lalaking nanloko at nanakit sa akin Ò.Ó

2. Magpapacute ako ng todo sa babaeng nang-agaw sa ex-boyfriend ko, at pagkatapos nun sasabihin ko sakanya na pangit siya . oØ,)\m/

3. Magpapagwapo ako ng sobra at magbibihis ng sobrang cool ang dating

4. Yayayain ko ang girl crush ko sa isang date, at gagawin ko yung pinakamasayang parte ng buhay niya.

5. Makikipagkaibigan ako sa bakla at pag may nakakita sa amin at tinawag kaming “bakla”, ipagtatanggol ko sila at sasabihin ko na “kahit bakla sila, may karapatan pa rin silang irespeto. Nilikha din sila ng Diyos, tao din sila, parte din sila ng lipunang ito. Nagkataon lang na mali ang pananaw niyo sa kung paano nila patakbuhin ang kanilang buhay”

6. Hahalikan ko si girl crush, smack lang pero. Baka kasi masampal ako pag sinagad ko

7. Pupuntahan ko si Mr. Shoulders (sa mga di nakakakilala sakanya, basahin ang  ikawalong blog post) at aamin akong crush ko siya, at kapag sinuntok niya ako, sasabihin ko ang mga salitang “dre, pinapasabi lang yun ni maye leane, ang manhid mo daw kasi eh”

8. Bibilhan ko ng boquet of roses si lola, at sasabihin ko sakanya na mahal na mahal siya ni lolo at wag siyang malungkot dahil may gwapo naman na sa harapan niya

9. Makikipaglaro ako ng basketball sa pinakahate kong pinsan tsaka ko siya idadapa dahil yun ang lagi niyang ginagawa sakin

10. Aakbayan ko ang tatay ko, tsaka ko sasabihing, “pwede ko bang buntisin si maye leane” ha ha ha . gusto ko lang makita ang reaksyon niya.

11. Gagawin ko ang isang bagay na hindi ginagawa ng babae pero kadalasan ginagawa ng lalaki para sa kaligayahan . Kasi gusto kong malaman kung bakit tuwang tuwa sila doon :/ ha ha ha

12. Makikipagholding hands ako sa lola ko ♥

13. Magbubunot ako ng buhok sa kili kili

14. Gagala ako sa mall na naka lowrise na jeans at walang shirt. Gusto ko lang makita ang reaksyon ng mga babaeng sabik sa matitigas na abs at muscles

15. Pipicturan ko sarili ko, naging lalaki ako sa loob ng isang araw, kailangan ng remembrance.

16. Maghahanap ako ng maganda mabait at sexy na babae at mamahalin ko siya sa loob ng isang araw :/

17. Pag-aaralan ko magdota, tsaka ko hahamunin ang mga imba tapos gagawa ako ng deal “pag natalo ako, ipabugbog niyo ako kay maye leane”

18. Mag-aartista ako

19. Sasabihan ko lahat ng babae na masasalubong ko na natatangi ang ganda nila

20. Hihilingin kong sana lalaki na lang ako habambuhay

Till we meet again

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Everybody was so busy. It was already 6:00 in the morning when I woke up for lolo’s interment. Our housekeepers were rushing lots of things inside the kitchen. The cooks were so busy doing the foods. I went to our living room where lolo’s resting bed is placed. Standing right beside it was a soldier saluting for my Lola who is watching lolo’s peaceful face, and though we are couple of meters away from each other, I can hear what she’s saying. It was a message full of love, and words with a hurtful goodbye. Before I get the chance to come closer to lola, I already heard mama’s voice, telling me to start preparing for later’s ceremony.

While I am dressing up in my room, I was thinking about what would happen after 30 minutes. We all knew this day was coming, but now that it is here, I am not any more prepared to say goodbye. When I think of my grandfather, his life, and how he affected those around him, I am reminded of a quote that so adequately defines this man, “The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.”

Everybody have witnessed Grandpa’s passion for many things and the happiness derived from them, whether it was landscaping, watching movies, causing laughter with corny wit, or being around his children and grandchildren. His enthusiasm for life, and strong heart and soul, taught all of us how much we could get out of life from following his prime examples.As one of his grandchildren, I grew up spoiled under a devoted grandfather’s attention. I believe several of us can remember specific and special moments with him, those memories we will hold dearer now that he is gone..  Some recollections have become memories, when we were little, grandpa used to feed us with frozen riped mangoes. Lagi siyang may katabing pamalo na panakot sa aming mga apo niya. When he’s not doing anything, he would always remember his old days when he was still the commandant of the BCHS. And once he started talking about it, it means that you won’t have to get the chance to stand up on your sit within a couple of boring hours. Everyday, lolo will check his beautifully made garden. Then he would watch every movie he loves in front of his television the whole afternoon. When he is not busy, he would play board games with us . It is always fun to play with our lolo. These and many more are everlasting memories to carry with me, and I will always thank him for showing all of us what being a parent and a grandparent should be like.

I was thinking about many things that moment, I didn’t noticed mama’s voice calling me again to remind me that the sponsors and officers who will assist in lolo’s interment has arrived. I was talking to Col. Aquino when I suddenly heard my aunt shouting. She was once again crying for her father’s death. I tried to look around around our house, lola is crying too, my mother is trying to hug my aunt but I know sadness is telling her to just cry and shout  too like everyone else in the house was doing. “Labas na tayo” were the only words I have to say to stop everybody from crying. We all went outside and from there I saw everyone weeping and mourning for lolo’s death. It was a long line. A line with aching hearts, a line with crying eyes. Ito na siguro yung pinakamahabang hatid na nakita ko, lahat ng nagmamahal kay lolo, naroon. Lahat sila, nagluluksa. 

Lolo’s hearse was beautiful. It is made of glass with arranged flowers on the side. It was surrounded by the officers and sponsors of the BCS. In front of it was another vehicle with a singer and a pianist.The soldiers and the band members formed their position in front of the line. This is it, from the road I can see lolo’s coffin carried by men in white uniform. When they placed him in his hearse, I heard my aunts and uncles’ loudest scream .. “PAPA” .. It was a short word, but I can feel the pain from it. Then I heard my cousins .. “LOLO” , it was a cry of loneliness and mourning. It is hard to say goodbye to our Lolo, Papa to his children, and Noli  to most.

Even though we all feel the pain of parting, I hope today is about celebrating a life, Noli’s  life, well lived. My Grandpa was a humble man; he never liked to be the center of attention. In life and now in death, he wouldn’t want us to focus on him. He wouldn’t want us to focus on the sadness of his death, but instead focus on the happiness in our lives. He would want us to appreciate each other and our future.

Di ako makaiyak nung nakikita kong nililibing na si lolo. I wasn’t focused on what’s happening that moment. Everbody was crying but there was only silence in my mind. I was thinking of what to do when that day is finished. I don’t know if it is a wake up call or a beginning for all of us. Like what I said, everything happened instantly. One day, I was with lolo, then the other day he was gone. If I have to face the word “acceptance” once in my life, no thanks. I am happy to have my own belief that my Lolo Noli is still alive, my Lolo Noli is still with us.

kung andito si papa, sigurado masaya siya na nakikita tayong magkakasama at kumpleto”. Those were the words I heard when I finally focused myself on the ceremony. It was my uncle Rey talking. After hearing it, I cried. Ansakit lang kasing isipin na yung nag-iisang request ni lolo buong buhay niya na makita kaming magkakasama at kumpleto, mangyayari lang pala kung namatay na siya </3

GRANDFATHER

Weep not for me though I am gone into that gentle night.
Grieve if you will, but not for long upon my soul’s sweet flight.
I am at peace, my soul’s at rest
There is no need for tears.
For with your love I was so blessed.
For all those many years.
There is no pain, I suffer not,
The fear now all is gone.
Put now these things out of your thoughts,
In your memory I live on.
Remember not my fight for breath
Remember not the strife.
Please do not dwell upon my death,
But celebrate my life. 
Lolo, mamimiss ko yung mga oras na nagyayabang kayo sakin about sa platoon niyo noon. Yung palo niyo na sobrang sakit, salamat pala doon, kung wala yun, tarantado pa rin ako ngayon. Lalo na yung paghingi hingi ko ng mga candy niyo, hahanap hanapin ko yun. I know that you also don’t want to leave us this early, but i understand lo, I know you’re tired. Ako na ang magpapatuloy ng mga naiwan niyong bagay, you molded me to what i am today. Kaya gagayahin ko kayo, babawasan ko lang ng konti yung pagiging strikto :) I love you lolo. Pag nagkita tayo dyan, I’ll make sure that you’ll salute me for my success. That’s a promise lolo. 
Be free now grandpa. We’ll be okay. Thanks for everything. Till we meet again ♥
in loving memory of
MANUEL FERRER MELCHOR
February 9, 1941-September 25, 2011



Mr. Shoulders

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4th cold sleepless night of september. Simula nung namatay si lolo, wala pa akong matinong tulog. Every single night is like a war that we all have to fearlessly face. Every single day that will pass is a battle. I must admit that sometimes BOREDOM shows up. It kills me, leaving me with the decision to just visit my bed. But the night of september 28 is different. The morning of september 29 is simply exciting.

NOTE: Before you start reading this blog post ( and while you are reading this ) please remember the following:

1. I am just a teenage girl, and having a crush is not a crime

2. I don’t flirt with my crushes, I just admire them.

3. When I say that i’m attracted to a guy, it doesn’t mean that I am misbehaving. I only like “his shoulders”

4. HAVING A CRUSH WITH SOMEONE IS SOOOOOOO NORMAL FOR A 16 YEAR OLD LADY LIKE “ME”

Now that’s it. And the story goes like this ..

I have an uncle, and we’re ALMOST on the same age. He’s handsome, honestly.. and I like him. He lived with us for 6 months because he needs a closer house from his work. But this is not the main point of the story. May katrabaho siya dun sa pinagtatrabahuhan nila. My mother knows that guy because *i’ll just keep it a secret*..  Another boring night is killing me so I decided to play bingo with them. Then after bingo, I went outside to play cards with them .. AGAIN ..

Let me hide him by the name “Mr. Shoulders” . While we are happily playing cards (tong-its) with each other, I can’t help to notice his broad and muscle filled shoulders. His eyes are ULTIMATELY BEAUTIFUL. His smile captured the woman inside me. His face describes the real essence of being handsome. MR. SHOULDERS IS HOT AND ATTRACTIVE.

* there I said it. Please try to read AGAIN the 4 important things in my life. thank you

from 10 pm to 6 am, I was laughing and talking and smiling with my cousins and friends. But all through out that night, my attention was focused on him. Tinamaan talaga ako ng cuteness niya. Nakikita at nakakasama ko na siya dati pa pero this moment is simply different sa ibang usual boring time ng buhay ko. I was wearing this cute dress that mother had lend me since i only brought clothes that are only enough for 2 days. Biglaan naman kasi ang pagbaba namin. Alsa balutan kumbaga. Going back to the story, gustung gusto ko pag tumatayo ako sa kinauupuan ko, kasi nakikita ko yung magaganda niyang mata na nakatingin sakin, parang gusto niyang iparating na he was attracted to me also. HAHAHA :D There is a part of the night wherein kuya dennis taught us a game where a police will catch a killer and the killer will kill the civilians. You might not get it but I’m telling you, It was fun. Natuwa ako sa laro kasi exciting naman talaga, pero mas natutuwa ako sa tuwing siya yung nakakuha ng killer na baraha. Mechanics kasi ng game na kapag killer ka, kikindatan mo yung mga cards na civilians. ibig sabihin nun, pinatay mo na sila. So the explanation is quite simple, exciting ang game kapag siya ang killer at civilian ako dahil kakailanganin niya akong kindatan. And trust me, sa tuwing gagawin niya yun gumuguho mundo ko sa sobrang kakiligan <3

Next game : 1 2 3 pass .

mechanics:  paunahang makabuo ng apat na pare parehong baraha, at pag nakabuo ka na, ilapag mo na agad kamay mo sa lamesa at mag-uunahan na rin yung ibang kamay na hawakan kamay mo. Excting noh? wag kang mag-alala pati ako di ko nakuhang mabuti.

Masaya yung laro, yun bang tipong pag may natapos na, mapapasigaw ka sa sobrang sayang makipag-unahan. Pero sa pangalawang pagkakataon, di ako naexcite sa mechanics ng game, naexcite ako dun sa part na kung saan makikipag-unahan ako sa ibang kamay para lang maipatong yung kamay ko sa kamay niya. Excited ako dun sa part na ipapatong niya yung malambot na kamay niya sa kamay kong sabik sa kilig. At oo, ilang beses nangyari yun. At oo ulit, napaos ako sa sigaw na di naman talaga sigaw, isa siyang tili. Malanding tili.

When we grew tired and bored in playing cards, we thought of another thing to do. It was 3:00 in the morning, at gising na gising pa ako dahil sakanya. Di nagtagal, may biglang nagkwento ng joke samin at naging translator si mr. shoulders. Di ako tumawa sa joke, I am too much concentrated with his smile. Nakaconcentrate ako dun sa magagandang mata niya na nabubuo sa tuwing ngingiti siya. At isa lang masasabi ko dun, little heaven sa earth.

Nung naboring nanaman kami sa jokes, napadpad kami sa banatan. At dito ako mas kinilig. Yun bang tipo na di ikaw yung binabanatan niya, pero kikiligin ka pa din. Andami niyang sinabi pero ito lang ang naalala ko:

mr. shoulders: utang ka ba?

ako: bakit?

mr. shoulders: di kasi kita makalimutan eh ..

okay . from now on mr. shoulders, isa kang malaking utang sa buhay ko. I will never forget the night when i fell in “crush” with you :D

When the sun started to shine, we thought of drinking coffee para magising. And once again, I made my own move. I volunteered to make 6 cups of coffee for all of us. Kung may gayuma sana akong bitbit nilagyan ko na yung cup niya ng gayuma. Pero dahil wala, sinarapan ko na lang yung sakanya. Natuwa na lang ako nung naubos niya agad, at di lang dun, puno rin ng kagat yung 2 styrocups na pinagtimplahan ko na maaaring dahil sa rason na:

1.NABITIN SIYA

2.MAS MASARAP YUNG STYRO KAYSA SA KAPE KO

Since I’m a positive thinker, I’ll go for the first one. Our last precious moment is when I called all of them to accompany me to find the nearest open loading station. We had our first walk together na pangit pa ang kinalabasan dahil hinabol kami ng bwisit na aso :/ 

Nalungkot ako nung antaas na ng sikat ng araw, ibig sabihin nun, the night is over, at uuwi na siya. But we’re still going to see each other. At aabangan ko yun .. I had fun spending that night with you. Sana maulit <3

PS: Crush kita , sana crush mo din ako <3


Col. Manuel Ferrer Melchor

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 Mr. Manuel Melchor was the second Commandant of the BCHS Corps of Cadets. He was the Commnadant when BCHS first won the PMT Championship which made BCHS famous till no one can beat it, was made Honorary Champion. The Corps Commamder was Ric De Leon who rose to the rank of DDG ( LT Gen ) 3 star, and # 2 man in the PNP as DCA/ Corps Sponsor was Angeles Torio, now Medical Director, Quirino MMC, also now Dr Angeles Torio De Leon. Mr Melchor was the Commandant from 1966 to 1978. during which the BCHS PMT/ CAT Unit reigned as Champions in Pangasinan.
You will always stay in our heart lolo .. you are our guide, our adviser and our father who taught us many great things about life.
 WE GIVE YOU OUR FINAL AND SNAPPIEST SALUTE !!
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Leo Laureano condolence to the familyof our commandant mr. manuel melchorwe offer prayer for the repossed soul mr.melchor our great commandant
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Binmaley Chs If we could only be all there at his final parade , it will be a long parade of his officers & sponsors of the BCHS Cadet officers & Sponsors Corps.

           Alexis Diaz it will be a long blue line

           Alesandra Estrellas Tiaoqui I hope the current Corp will march with him to his final resting place.

Aurea Penner My belated condolence to the family of Mr. Manuel Melchor, he certainly left his mark among the BCHS cadet officers it seemed so that is a great legacy. On another matter, if anyone has a record of the list of cadet officers and sponsors in 1965, we will greatly appreciate it if you can post it on this website.
Edgar Delos Angeles We mourn the loss of our beloved Commandant, Mr. Manuel F. Melchor, eternal rest grant unto him O LOrd, and let perpetual help shine upon him, May he rest in peace. We were expecting to be with him during our COSAA Reunion in Jan 2012,but so sad he will not be with us, but surely will be in our hearts and spirit. Our final SALUTE, Sir Manuel Melchor.

Alesandra Estrellas Tiaoqui Our final salute to you Mr. Melchor! May you have an eternal peace.

Luie Guia He was the CAT Commandant when I was an officer trainee (called COCC back then)Condolences to his family!

Cora Velasco-Rosales ‎:( rest in peace Mr Melchor…still remember him trouping the line and that familiar handsome look and walk ….

Alexis Diaz If you work for a man in heavens name,work for him,speak well of him and stand by the institution he represents.Remember an ounce of Loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness… These were the very words every cadet maggot should know and recite snappily,tiger faced,dagger looked,breast out,stomach in- to instill the loyalty and discipline amongst cadet officer would-be. True enough we still carry that training in our lives today, as taught by SIR MANUEL MELCHOR. He was a great loss. Though gone,his memories is not forgotten. Farewell, SIR.

                           Edgar Delos Angeles that’s a true genuine COSA, as taught and part of the COSAA tradition, by Sir Manuel Melchor, to this day, I hope most of us if not all, still know by heart this LOYALTY poem.

Jay DamacionSorry to hear about the loss of Mr.Melchor. He will be remembered for his good works and achievements with BCHS. God bless his soul and he may rest in peace.
Roland Fernandez Belated greeting of condolences & sympathy to the family of Mr Mechor. My family is with you during this difficult time. Though he left BCHS before we set foot, we heard many of his great accomplishments & leadership as a commandant. We are proud of you sir! May you rest in peace.

Joy Ferrer Ella We will miss him. He did a lot in BCHS. May he rest in peace.

Meldy Bautista- Bhatti My sincere condolence to you and your family. . . Mr. Melchor was definitely a blessing to all of us students when we were with him in BCHS.May the Lord grant you His peace during this time. . .

Roselli G Stanley Very sad to hear of the passing of Mr Manuel Melchor. I extend my heartfelt sympathy to his immediate & extended family. I have wonderful memories of his being at the helm during my senior year at BCHS in 1965. VALE! Commandant Melchor. With loving thoughts & prayers from, Roselli Gonzalo ( Stanley) , Corps Sponsor, 1965

Binmaley Chs COSAA which is a group mostly mentored by its former Commandant, the late, Manuel F. Melchor, give its FINAL SALUTE, to you SIR. Our prayers for him, for the repose of his soul, may he rest in Peace.Our deepest sympathy and sincere condolence to the bereaved family of Commandant Melchor, Ka COSA Maye Leane Paras, as you know COSAA was very much excited in having your lolo at the upcoming reunion of his beloved COSAs, we surely will miss him physically but he will be with us in spirit during the reunion.
Commandant Melchor, as you taught as, we give you our SNAPPIEST SALUTE !!!

Ricardo de Leon We mourn for the loss of a great friend who was a partner of Fr Leo Bekneke the greatest mentor
of BCHS.May we render my final SALUTE and bow with gratitude for touching the lives of many of
Binmaleyans and alumni of BCHS.May Sir Manuel Melchor rest in peace.

Arnold M Bautista My sincere condolences to the family. He sure was one of those that taught us many lessons in life. My final salute, Sir!

Joy Ferrer Ella We will miss you Sir Manuel Melchor. You made BCHS famous. May God reward you in His kingdom. May you rest in peace.

Ramon Araquel eternal rest grant unto him o Lord! may his soul rest in peace!

 Dani GurtizaA final salute to our great Commandant Sir Manuel Melchor…May you rest in peace.

This is one single proof that many people is really thankful for lolo’s 70 years of existence. Maybe he lived because of this very purpose. He brought many simple strangers to a world where great people stay. Malaki ang utang na loob ng marami sakanya . Kung di dahil sa pagdidisplina at pagtuturo niya, di sila ganun kagaling ngayon.

When I was in 3rd year, I was one of the top three who aimed to become the next corps sponsor of the special gala unit ( CAT ). Lolo was so proud of me when he heard the news. He taught me what to do , what to say , and even taught me how to bring out the best in me. Mas lalo akong nainspire na kunin yung posisyon nung nalaman kong lolo is with me.. kasi alam kong magiging masaya siya dun.. alam ko mas magiging proud siya kung naging corps sponsor ang apo niya. But I’m sorry lolo , I failed you .. after the announcement, umuwi ako para madisappoint lang kayo. talunan ako lo , :( 

Pero imbis na pagalitan niya ako, he hugged me. then sabi niya ” Apo, kapag nabigo kang kunin yung ginusto at pinangarap mo,wag kang mag-alala, may mas malaking bagay na nakalaan para sa’yo”

That day, my love for lolo grew stronger.

He was right about his “bigger-things-are-meant-for-you” belief, because after that school year, I became the SSC president of the school..

For 16 years I grew up with only one LOLO .. i have loved my one and only LOLO every minute of that joyful 16 years with him. Thank you lolo for being a great grandpa to me. I will never forget all the things that you have taught me. I love you long , i miss you so much .. <3


Gone too soon

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I am with my sister, and as the tricycle we are riding moves closer to our house, i can feel little droplets of tears forming in our eyes. The beat of my heart is slowing down out of sadness. I opened our gate, and from there I saw my family sitted in each chair arranged in front of our house. We have this wonderful grass in our garden with yellow flowers that bloom every morning, but all I can see are tables and chairs arranged orderly on top of it. Every week whenever I’m going home from Baguio, my family would excitedly hug me upon my usual arrival. But this day, I saw nothing but tears and sad faces.I am too much concentrated observing the changes in our home, I didn’t noticed that I am already standing in front of my aunts. I moved closer to my eldest aunt, and with her sad voice, she told me “wala na ang lolo mo,maye.. iniwan na niya tayo”. I tried to smile a little so I could hide the pain that I’m feeling inside but in a second, I already heard myself crying aloud. My grandmother hugged my sister, and from the tightness of her hug, I can see that she is in a deep pain. My lolo and lola were childhood sweethearts according to my aunt elizabeth. They met each other in a small town in Baguio where lola used to reside. Last June 4, 2011, my grandparents celebrated their Golden Anniversary. And  that is a single proof that they are really in love with each other. Going back, my lola also hugged me but I didn’t felt her touch. It seems that my world is already falling.. pieces by pieces..

I pushed the door to open it widely. And there he is, in a long chair, my lolo is lying dead as if he’s just in a middle of a peaceful sleep. He was wearing his favorite gray-colored jacket, and his usual short pants. Right beside him was a small table with a big candle and a plate with fried bangus and boiled rice on top of it. Nagmano ako, and i felt the coldness of his hands. It is already stiff. Wala na talaga si lolo.. Before I got the chance to hug him, lola started crying again, but this time, she was already hugging the body of my grandpa.  Her uttered words were too painful to hear. And though I can’t understand it that much since lola used pangasinan language, I know that she is really hurt for the lost of her one and only love. Everbody in the room was crying. Every member is weeping. Alam naman naming lahat na mangyayari to. alam naming lahat na darating tong araw na to. But we can’t just accept it because it happened suddenly. Everything was faster than a single blink of an eye. Everything is too instant.

September 24: Malakas pa daw si lolo. Andami pa daw niyang kinain at tawa pa siya ng tawa dahil sa pinapanood niya. 

September 25 5:00 am: Lolo woke lola to chase the cat. He was still okay according to lola. Inayos pa niya nga daw yung napakaraming gatas ng bottled ensure sa cabinet niya. 

7:30 na nung naisipan ni lola na gisingin si lolo, late na kasi at dumating na yung mga karpintero na nag-aayos ng pinapagawa niyang kwarto. Lola knew that there is something wrong since lolo’s usual waking time is between 6-6:30 am. She repeatedly mentioned lolo’s name. NOLI..NOLI..NOLI..  that moment, she knew what’s happening. She called my aunts, “akin, aga umbangon si papa yo” (your father won’t wake up).. It was my cousin who helped lolo to stand up. Her sister tried to touch my lolo’s wrisk to feel his pulse. His body was cold, pale and lifeless. My aunt elizabeth hugged him tightly. Pilit niyang ginising si lolo. She was shouting at the top of his voice. PAPA .. PAPA .. PAPA .. WAG MUNA NGAYON, WAG MO KAMING IWAN.. But it was too late. Everything inside of the room was turned into a dark silence. Parang bumilis ang takbo ng oras. Everybody was crying with an aching heart. Lola’s love is lost. Our boss already died. Lolo noli was gone.

I love you so much lolo . We will always remember every moment of my life with you .. You molded me to what I am today .. I will miss you long . farewell ..

DEAR JOHN II

by: Maye Leane M. Paras

This is a story of both braveness and life

A battle for love in a wonderful strife

A remarkable tale of how my world began

When I fell in love with my dearest John


I sat and smiled alone in my room

As I imagined the two of us dancing in the moon

With stars, and planets and silence as our music

A long night with you is simply romantic


I woke up and felt your warm lips with mine

Then I thought of myself stopping the time

Oh dear John, I want to live forever with you

Please hug me and whisper that you wish the same thing too


The song we have made became a perfect melody

Our story is a fairy tale and we are destined to live happily

And if fate would give us the challenge of uncertainty

We will face it to fight for our love’s immortality


Years will pass and we’ll grow old together

I’ll feel your embrace by a cozy fire in winter

To my dear John, let’s just stay in love with each other

And we’ll write our story with the sweetest forever

Dear John

This is not the novel of Nicholas Sparks

This is just a poem with true love that marks

With words that are made for my special someone

And a love dedicated to my dearest John

Hold my hand and never let go

Set your eyes on mine and we’ll both know

There’s love that surrounds us when we walk alone

And it’s everything we’ve never known

And in the night when i’m out of the blue

I’ll just watch the stars and got nothing to do

But to think of the moments when I said I love you

And the times when you told me you love me too

So feel my lips and warm embrace

And close your eyes as I touch your face

Maybe you and I are really meant for each other

To my dear John, I will love you forever

by: Maye Leane M. Paras

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